For a Hollywood film, it is remarkably convincing. The sacked workers (played
by real people who have recently lost their jobs) are angry and humiliated
in just the right way.
Clooney is smoothly professional and insultingly upbeat in just the right way,
too. Only once did I think his smarmy lies had gone too far, when he says as
he strips one man of his livelihood: "Anyone who ever built an empire
or changed the world sat where you are right now"- but then I read
later that this line was pinched from Michael Bloomberg.
Too good looking
Instead, the problem with the film is that Clooney is simply too good-looking
to be credible. In his other roles, his perfectly symmetrical features have
been less out of place. As the paediatrician in ER he was perfectly
plausible. So too as a CIA agent in Syriana. He was even acceptable as a
journalist in One Fine Day.
But for the corporate world, Clooney won’t do. If you want to see the real
thing, visit the website of Forbes where there is an article by an HR
consultant called Burton Goldfield. In real life, Goldfield does something
similar to what Clooney does on film, but I hope he won’t mind if I point
out that he doesn’t look like Clooney at all. He is a balding man in late
middle age with a forgettable face.
In an attempt to stand up my theory about this dearth of beauty in corporate
life, last week I sent an e-mail to the 500 journalists who work at the
Financial Times. "Can anyone think of any seriously good-looking senior
men in business?" I asked.
Good lookin bankers
Immediately a pattern started to emerge. There are plenty of handsome
investment bankers and handsome hedge fund managers. Jamie Dimon is a minor
beauty, Arki Busson a major one.
In continental Europe, corporate life is stuffed with matinee idols. There is
Alessandro Benetton, Wolfgang Bernhard at Daimler, Bernard Arnault at LVMH,
Henri de Castries at Axa, François-Henri Pinault at PPR - all are
distractingly good-looking, and there are many more where they came from.
Slim pickings UK and UUS
But in the UK and the US, the pickings are very slim indeed. There are a few
dishy entrepreneurs. Michael Dell is quite handsome in a square-jawed sort
of way. Richard Branson has - or had - something. But in mainstream
corporate life in the UK and the US, the ugly mug rules.
In Britain, the situation is particularly dismal. FT journalists, with their
combined experience of business life running into thousands of years, could
only think of two possible candidates. Curiously, both called Rose: Sir John
at Rolls-Royce and (more controversially) Sir Stuart at Marks and Spencer.
In the US, there were a few more suggestions of beautiful bosses, but almost
all were from media companies where different rules apply. Stephen Burke at
Comcast is easy on the eye, as is Jeffrey Bewkes at Time Warner.
Three possible explanations
If my theory is true, I can think of three possible explanations. The first is
that men in business start handsome enough but by the time they are big
enough to get noticed they are old and bald and have eaten too many
aeroplane meals. Their looks have gone, and unlike business women they don't
go to such lengths to hang on to them. They can't even compensate for
dwindling physical charm by sheer power of personality, as Anglo-Saxon
corporate life is about conformity, and strong expressions of individuality
- even at the top - are not encouraged.
The second and more plausible explanation is that for beautiful men there are
easier and more glamorous paths to success than a long arduous climb up the
ladder in cement or insurance. Instead they go into investment banking, show
business, media and the law, where looks - and the arrogance that goes with
them - are admired.
The third possibility is that obviously handsome men are discriminated against
in business. As plain men take almost all the hiring decisions they like to
keep the good-looking ones out. With women, the reverse is true. A beautiful
woman gets hired in a trice.
But whatever the reason, the predominance of plain Johns in corporate life has
something to be said for it. Being fired isn't nice, but it's even less nice
if the man with the axe has a full head of hair and beautiful brown eyes
that shine on his victim with fake compassion. I would much rather reach for
the tissues in front of someone whose appearance might give them something
to cry about, too.
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